This Post Was Supposed to Have Been Posted Last Friday.

I love it when my international friends laugh at my attempt to say "caulk."

A friend told me once that "true love expands waters."
I'm like "fuck that, I'm lazy, and Canada's closer."

Totally just posted my email address in a Skype conversation with people I barely know. No big. It's not like my email address wasn't just posted on Twitter for the entire world to see.

I'm almost too chicken to go to Fandom Fest this year.

Apparently, my new favorite word is amazeballs.

If you come into a game with a name like Shetland you've got to be prepared to be compared to a pony.
Also be prepared to be called the name of one of the ponies on "My Little Pony Tales."
Yes, I attempted to get everyone to call you Bright Eyes.

I'm awesome.
Cougars are awesome.
My high school mascot was a Cougar.
Therefore, I am a Cougar.

Oh snap, my inner bitch is showing again.

I would kick you in the vagina, but I'm afraid I'd lose my shoe.
No, I did not just call you a whore.
I called you a slut.
Whores get paid while you only do it for fun.

I have no idea where the last bit came from.

I am currently giggling uncontrollably.

Naps are awesome.

If only you could see my gesticulations.

It annoys me when a fan fiction writer blatantly ignores the time period in which the original story takes place. If it happened in the 80's then why would your character(s) have an iPod?

I tried to be innovative once but the instructions were a bit too vague for me.

I have the greatest sister in the world. No, we don't share DNA but that doesn't make her any less my sister, I would do anything for her, and I wouldn't trade her for the world.

Mississauga is pronounced Mississauga. You know, like Mississippi but with a saga at the end instead of a sippi.

I was having two separate conversations with my best friend earlier.
One was about the word amazeballs.
The other was about tacos.
The two conversations turned into one about burning vaginas and bouncy balls.
Still not able to wrap my head around that change.

When I was little I used to wonder why the dollar bills I got from the Tooth Fairy smelled like the leather wallet my father carried.

I love it when a guy ten years younger uses cheesy pick-up lines on me. I don't love it when ten years younger means he's still a minor.

When I was a little girl I used to watch Star Trek: The Original Series every Sunday morning after Sesame Street with my daddy.

My Aussie friend just blamed me for her procrastinating and inability to concentrate on her research paper.
She's had fourteen weeks to write it.
Her reasoning?
I'm American.

My Aussie friend also wants to steal me away to Canada so we can steal the good-looking Canadian men.

This blog is like a window into my mind. Be very, very frightened.

BooBoo Bon Fitten Houser... Duct Tape is Awesome part 2

I stole the title of this post from a couple of my friends.

I want to sing "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" but I can't whistle.

I have played on the same text-based MMORPG for four and a half years.

I want to write one fan fiction story.
I want to write one where Louis and Lestat go to Forks and brutally murder the Cullens. I then want to send the story to Anne Rice with a note saying that I am protecting her legacy.

Big Bird and Captain Kirk are the best combination ever.

I hate it when my friends change their names on Skype. It's so fucking confusing.

I would laugh in the face of Danger but Danger is usually accompanied by Pain and I don't like being ganged up on.

Maybe one day I will grow up.

I am a megalomaniac. Self diagnosed of course.

So far, my research into the sport called hockey has only led me to Jeff Carter.
Jeff Carter is hot.
The nerd in me tried to write Jack Carter.
Hmm... Jack Carter... Colin Ferguson is hotter that Jeff Carter (jussayin)

I love Canada.

I have to watch the end of "Wrath of Khan" alone.

I have a very good friend in Slovenia. I call him my "Little Commie Friend." He's not a Communist but he sounds a little bit like a Russian so it works for me.
No offense to the people of Russia.
I also ask that friend how things are in the Eastern Bloc. Geography be damned.

I have realized that at the age of 27, I have managed to do all but three of the things I have always wanted to do in my life.

All that I need to recharge is a Star Trek marathon (any and all of the series' and movies), Spaghetti-O's, Cherry Kool-Aid, and Cherry Garcia ice cream.

Teenagers scare me to the point of never wanting to have children.

I hope and pray everyday that I don't have to say the word "caulk."
I had a dental appliance on the roof of my mouth when I got braces as a child. It led me to develop a slight speech impediment. Double consonants beginning with the letter "L" give me problems.
Please don't make me say the word "caulk" as it doesn't sound as innocent as it should when I say it.

My father instilled in me a love for science fiction and westerns.

I can't stand the smell of bourbon but I love the smell of sour mash.

I cry like a baby every time Spock dies. Seriously. Hysterical sobbing occurs.

Duct Tape is Awesome.

I envy people who can take more than one drink of beer without feeling sick.

If I move to Canada do I need to start spelling words with that pointless 'u' in them?

Why do people in California think that people in Kentucky are backwards when it's illegal to marry your first cousin in Kentucky but it's not in California?

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

I tend to not talk while I'm writing because I have a tendency to write down what I'm saying.
I had to remove a random "fuck" from the middle of the previous sentence because of that tendency.

Duct tape is awesome.

I like to buy notebooks for everything I try to study. But that's just because I'm weird and I like paper.

When I was little I used to think that I had Vulcan ears. I refused to wear my hair up for several years after that. Live long and prosper.

I hate that SyFy has cancelled almost all of the good shows. Where is my inner nerd going to get her strength now?

You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.

A Swedish guy saying "fuck" is absolutely amazeballs.

David Bowie is a fucking genius, insane but still a genius.

My state has no pro teams. Well, we have minor league teams but we have absolutely no hockey teams.

I need to learn hockey so I feel more cultured.

I feel like a creeper because of the things that have happened on Twitter in the past several days.

Kirk pwns Picard.

Randomness in the first.

I love fans but I hate the feeling of air blowing in my face. Like riding down the road in the backseat of a car and the front windows are open and damn near suffocating you. I hate it when a fan blows over me because I hate the sound of wind rushing past my ear and, it hurts like a bitch sometimes.

On a totally different note, I proved that at even the age of 27, I cannot stay away from melted candles in any form. Bright side is that my fingertips smell like cranberries now, bad part is that no matter what I will never live that down.

Also, the reports of me mauling a cardboard cutout are greatly exaggerated.